Apparently, last November I had made plans for this January that I had forgotten. For a person living in a very gloomy and cold town, you’d think I would remember that I made plans to go to Hawaii. A very close family friend is getting married next Monday. This Friday I will be on a very long (but worthwhile) flight to the lowest of the lower 48. I feel that Hawaii should advertise themselves as “the volcanic temptations.”
So now, it’s Smile Wednesday and I know my readers are looking for something to laugh at.
Laugh at what passes for my ‘organization’ and ‘packing’ skills. These are the things I am considering packing into my suitcase… Correction, these are the things I would like to pack into my suitcase.
Item No. 1. Swimwear.
A bathing suit. A purple bathing suit, preferably. With long sleeves attached, that has oxygen injectors. These tiny (tiny!) needles inject oxygen directly under ones skin. No scuba-mask necessary! This little baby will keep you breathing fresh air even when you’re looking across a mountain of coral reefs. I suppose I will also bring my trusty goggles. The images they project into my view while I’m swimming are highly entertaining. Steamboat Willie has a whole visual appeal when seen on seaweed.
Item No. 2: Dresses
For simplicities sake, I will pack just one dress. This is my transforming dress that can easily alter its appearance based on the day, setting, and my whim. The only drawback is that since I have not replaced the batteries in awhile it no longer responds to master control. I just have to pray it stays in one shape during the wedding. After that it won’t be problem if it changes styles in sundress while I’m on the beach.
Item No. 5: Pants
I suppose that I have to wear something other than swimwear and a dress. The pants I would like to bring will have twelve unending pockets. Perfectly normal looking cargo pant pockets, but the pockets will be able to fit a person’s entire arm should they wish. And in these twelve pockets I will keep a puppy for bribery, a Wesley action figure, two packs of post-it notes, three multi color highlighters, one pair of lipstick, a digital camera, a camera obscura, and anything else that seems relevant.
Item No. 4: A book of some considerable length
I also need to bring a book to read. I don’t want to read just any book. I think I will bring along The Dream of Perpetual Motion by Dexter Palmer. I’m absolutely positive it was written as a how-to-manual. True or not, I will be attempting such. Vacations are meant to be a try-everything type package, right? I will also attempt inventing a method for sea turtles to fly. (Hence the aforementioned action figure. There has to be test pilot, naturally.)
Item No. 5: My muse.
Everyone has one. Mine just so happens to have a penchant for blueberry ice cream and speaking in unending riddles. This is my only explanation for why some of my writing does not make sense. I’m sure that if I take it to a place where the sand glows and ocean looks like a thousand diamonds it will perk up. The sunsets are supposed to be gorgeous as well. The only unfortunate set back may be the resulting surplus of romance related fiction.
That is all I can think to take. Next Wednesday I will be posting pictures. The only question I have to ask now is, what kind of pictures? Shall they be natural scenes or the luscious surroundings or should I take it upon myself to arrange random objects in the name of art?
I hope this next week is a vacation for you all. Take a moment to renew and breathe. For those who attend College, this is going to be the end of your Winter Break.
Pleasant Wednesday to you all.
(from Jaws 2)