Smile Wednesday

I know I have a number of readers on this blog, and a few commenters. I really hope that wherever you are, your finding a reason to smile today. Or a reason to just make something.  I just read my newspaper and there are some crazy things happening in town.

Of course, the real fun is on Craigslist. Possibly the worst way for me to spend my day, because inevitably I end up looking at the puppies I cannot take home. I volunteer at the shelter sure, but they rarely offer me adorable blonde Labrador puppies to play with.

For example:

For those that cannot read it, it says:

We are two gentleman in need of a trio of sexy personal security. In times as such safety is always our number one concern. Please do not send a resume’ consisting of background that does not  directly correlate to the offer. We need to make sure you have the proper skills and paperwork to carry a concealed weapon. This offer will most likely fillup quickley so please do not hesitate to send in your measurments, as as job quilfications and a picture of you in a bikini.

Desired skills: Rock Climbing, Foreign Languages, Martial Arts,  Pole Dancing, Weapon Quals, High School Diploma, Passport, Demolition experiance, Great Cook, Beer Pong playing, Hand to hand combat, Pilots Liscense, Phsycology degree, Great looks.

 

 

 

Yeah, let me see how many of those things I can check off. Right, looks like I just need that High School Diploma and I’m good. Later this afternoon I will be in a Psych study, so I’m gonna enjoy playing mind games with the experimenters.

Happy February!

See you on Friday, or earlier if anyone decides to email their art.

 

Fantastical Friday

…and, ta-da….

I’m on twitter: @Hammer_and_Nail.  No, no, don’t stop the presses. In fact, keep them going. I’d like to start spreading the word about this  blog a little bit more. I want to hear from the audience and get back to the original game plan: engaging with people and displaying what you have to share. Remember, I’m just the narrator. This is our community. In the side bar you’ll see there is a little twitter feed displaying recent tweets. I’ve also created a flyer to post around my little town. Feel free to print it off and do the same. (Karma, people. Karma.)

Happy Friday everyone! The most amazing thing happened to me this week: My sister bought me Pumpkin Pie pop tarts.  They are in fact the greatest thing ever. Other than that, I prepared my office for impending doom the New Year. There’s a lot more than meets the eye. I even set goals for my little cubicle.  Like, keep organized. I can’t remember the other reasons because I lost the list under the pile of papers from yesterday. No matter! Lumbergh will still get his TPS reports.

For today, here are some prompts. Happy writing!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o| Enjoy| o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

There’s a reason we keep the cat in the bag.

I am the keeper of tongues: Je parle français. Yo hablo español. Я говорю России. Jeg taler dansk. אני מדבר עברית. They are all sealed inside my locket.

Pour, tear, clear

The solider empted his canteen
Only to see there wasn’t any to sip.
White knuckles on the bayonet
He waited for the sunrise to slip.

A conversation in tweets:
@Mask_Attack::  @VilliansAnon, I’m at the bank like we agreed. Where’d everybody go??
Mask_Attack has checked into First National Bank on the Corner of A and 13^th

Transducer | Definition: To convert matter into energy

In the year 2036 we play checkers in a very different fashion. There’s the board the size of the football field. The players sit on their flying disks, hovering above the ground waiting for the Royalty (used to be a quarterback) to call the shots. It’s quite a spectacle. Of course, after the debacle in 2028 they have to wear armor now. That way it does not get to bloody when someone is violently King’ed.  And the cheerleaders are amazing.

Gloves with laser pointers on the fingers. ..and other technological advancements to mundane items.

She opened her watch again, scowled and snapped it shut. She looked back up at the stars, waiting for them to align.

Be on your guard when you see a smiling dragon:

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Now off you go! Send me poetry! Send me scribbles! Send me 100 word drabbles if you dare! And comment with prompts you want to see.

And don’t forget there’s a CONTEST  going on.

Inspiration Fridays.

Rave tonight. Super excited, but at the same time I’ve been pushing myself hard at the gym this week. My body would rather pass out than get dressed up as a broken doll. Thank god for caffeine, amirite?  Anyone else got plans this weekend? Rocky Horror Picture Show, anyone?

If you get dressed up, send in pics of you in costume! We can have a master post on Tuesday of everyone’s costumes.

As always, post prompts you want to see in the comments.

—–Without further ado, please enjoy the mad ramblings of my imagination—-

Take a pop song and turn it into a horror story.

Look, okay, he was just doing his job. Don’t blame the night janitor because you can’t keep a lid on the drama department.

We’ll have an office party if we can go 100 days with accident.  (“Goddamnit, Roberts the hell did you do?!”)

Suzie was so excited when Lucky came home. Mom had said that she’d run away over the summer while Suzie was in summer camp. Of course, Mom also said that all ghosts come out on Halloween.

She isn’t called Snow White *just* because of the way she looks- Hair as dark as ebony, skin pale as snow, lips the color of blood…

Connect the dots.

Mercy is the greatest of sins. I almost committed it once. (from Sharp Teeth comm.)

The British? Please. No, Paul Revere was sending out a warning of something else. One if it claws its way across the land, two if it rises from the  ocean.

Let’s do the time warp again. And again. And again. You aren’t getting tired are you?

Muscle memory.

Cool grass, and the stars above.

Office supplies? Really? What office are you working for?

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I’ve come to realize that at some point, people are reading this for entertainment value alone. But humor me, please. I challenge you to write a drabble, 100 words, based on something above and post it in the comments.

One last laugh: